NEW YORK, New York (RHP)

Comic Al Franken, the author of “Rush Limbaugh Is a Big, Fat Idiot,” is a flabby, pasty, wimp.

GREATEST GENIUSES OF TWENTIETH CENTURY CALCULATED—EINSTEIN, LIMBAUGH, McMAHON

REBEL HOLLER, Georgia (RHP)

A scientific study measuring the intelligence of major figures in American culture has determined that only one of the greatest geniuses of the Twentieth Century was a scientist.

Dr. Preston Coleman of the Rebel Holler Research Institute (RHRI) released “A Comparative Analysis of Major American Intellects of the Twentieth Century: Integrating Rhetorical, Psychometric, and Empirical Data in the Study of Human Intelligence” to a skeptical audience in the field of forensic psychometrics. Replication and validation studies conducted since its publication, however, confirm the reliability of the study, which analyzed “written and spoken communicative artifacts for precision and sophistication in the use of language and symbology” and considered “measurable impact on American society.”


The Greatest Geniuses of the Twentieth Century are, in descending order, physicist Albert Einstein, radio legend Rush Limbaugh, and billionaire wrestling impresario Vince McMahon™.

Upon hearing of the results, McMahon™ responded wryly, “In other words, I beat their brains out--with my brains.”

Limbaugh, affecting the satirical self-aggrandizing tone that has endeared him to twenty million loyal fans, pronounced, “I owe it all to talent scraped from the streets of gold when God stubbed His Almighty toe.”

Einstein, reached via a telephone psychic, fumed, “That’ll show that (deleted) (deleted) who failed me in fifth grade what’s (deleted) what!”

Some notable runners-up in the study include author/publisher William F. Buckley, theoretical mathematician Stephen S. Hawking, and Moe Howard, the brains behind the Three Stooges.

To Read more of Preston Coleman  

©2003 rebelholler.com