I Owe the World An Apology - So Here It Is
by Jim Moore

02/19/2003

The longer I live the more I'm amazed at the dissimilarity of humankind.

We all may be one in spiritual essence, but in physical reality, we are as different as animals in a zoo. This difference, although an act of nature (thus no accident) has unfortunately led to clashes in the world, including the good old USA.

I would therefore like to tender a long overdue apology for who and what I am, in hopes that it may ease the discomfort of the other animals in the zoo.

To begin with, I apologize for being white. I didn't choose my skin color. I just happened to be bland at birth. Would I have chosen a different color if I had my druthers? I don't know. But it's a bit late for that now.

I apologize for being a male. This was also the luck of the draw. I'm sorry, ladies, if being a "hunter" makes me a pariah in today's world, but you're forgetting something. It is only you, my dear, who can bring another male into the world, and thus help propagate this human tragedy. No "hunter" alive can contaminate the earth like that.

I apologize for being a Christian. I simply feel that, even if I don't go to church regularly but still believe in God, it's much better than contributing to prolonged, elaborate ceremonies worshiping some obscure deity that is impossible for me to relate to. Even if all the feathers and drum beating IS God.

I apologize for being a conservative. I know that strict adherence to our Constitution, and a belief in keeping sacrosanct the America our founding fathers gave us, may not be everyone's cup of tea. But it's MY cup of tea and I'm the one who has to drink it.

I apologize for being happily married. I know it's not the "in" thing to do these days, but it's the best I could do, given that my wife preferred it that way. It does have some merits though. I'm not playing musical beds with different partners, or living with a woman without any commitment, or having sex with another man, and I have no illegitimate kids running around looking for their dad.

I apologize for being born in the first half of the 20th century. I think I'm now too set in my ways to appreciate just how much our younger generation is progressing. Their school violence, insubordination, loose morals, absence of discipline, lack of common courtesy, and exposed belly buttons must be a new paradigm for the millennium. Just call me behind the times and let it go at that. 

I apologize for being a "frank" writer. Some of my columns, I'm sure, raise some eyebrows, even tempers. I'm sorry about that. What I should be writing about, I suppose, is peace on earth, brotherly love, joy everywhere, helping hands, happiness in the hills, and so on. Maybe when I see more of that I'll start writing about it.

I apologize for being fairly well-off. I'm not wealthy by a long shot, but I don't miss any meals either. I know that makes me appear insensitive to the poor, underprivileged, and dispossessed. But in my defense let me says this: If I hadn't had two parents who loved me, a good education, and a desire to get off my butt and work hard for what I want, I would be part of the poor population. And frankly I'd rather be where I am.

Finally, I apologize for being apologetic. I could have written nothing at all. But then you would never know how sorry I am for all the trouble I brought to the world.



Jim Moore
Jmoore1819@aol.com

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